why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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