is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
