He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
