Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
