Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize