can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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