Barsexuality is the new black.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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