You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
