is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
