His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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