i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Boobs are out for the taking
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
