The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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