So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
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currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
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last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
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