i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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