we have officially lost it.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Randomize
