im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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