sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
