True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
