now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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