it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
