How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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