dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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