They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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