I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
