Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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