i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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