But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
