shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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