yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
