I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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