if you like me you must not know who I am
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
