that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
