Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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