you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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