No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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