I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize