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I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Randomize
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