Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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  (847): this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way http://tfl.nu/rl6u
  Replies (221) Good night (2634) Bad night (28606)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.

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  (205): I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas. http://tfl.nu/ea9i
  Replies (39) Good night (3086) Bad night (847)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.

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  (+61): Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches. http://tfl.nu/qgps
  Replies (3) Good night (3212) Bad night (815)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.

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  (302): just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach. http://tfl.nu/5cxr
  Replies (3) Good night (2856) Bad night (834)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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  (423): Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility http://tfl.nu/hzzw
  Replies (8) Good night (1766) Bad night (691)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?

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  (518): I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine? http://tfl.nu/b7b9
  Replies (4) Good night (1194) Bad night (582)
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  (212): View more from New York

  The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.

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  (212): The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you. http://tfl.nu/c03k
  Replies (9) Good night (2512) Bad night (1054)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.

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  (+44): When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god. http://tfl.nu/0ncl
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (938)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.

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  (519): I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity. http://tfl.nu/v0to
  Replies (13) Good night (1049) Bad night (431)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.

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  (269): Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair. http://tfl.nu/xxq4
  Replies (0) Good night (726) Bad night (386)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.

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  (931): Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close. http://tfl.nu/0xt0
  Replies (3) Good night (987) Bad night (764)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.

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  (727): I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade. http://tfl.nu/63zw
  Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (386)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.

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  (219): You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him. http://tfl.nu/eshg
  Replies (3) Good night (1153) Bad night (470)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?

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  (318): We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember? http://tfl.nu/wwe6
  Replies (3) Good night (482) Bad night (238)
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  (347): View more from New York

  you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder

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  (347): you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder http://tfl.nu/lo2g
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (236)

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