this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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