no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
