Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
