Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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