Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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