I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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