found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
