Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
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He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
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Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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