we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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