I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
