I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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