last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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