last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
