Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
