What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it was like eating out sand paper
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This baby is an asshole
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
