I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
