Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
