Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
